


Guys' night out

by Neisseria_Meningitidis



Category: Re:ゼロから始める異世界生活 | Re:Zero Starting Life in Another World (Anime)
Genre: Beware the queen: Natsumi Schwartz, But be good to me and don't ask questions like that, Canon-Typical Violence, Gen, If you have to place it in canon it's before arc 5, It's a fluff sandwich, No ship but you do you, Reddit Made Me Do It, The Boys Have Fun, The attend a child puppet show, They are a bunch a dorks, They eat too much, They meet a bunch of bullies, They meet some scammers, They visit a haunted house, They visit a strange market place, With some pain in the middle
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-17
Updated: 2020-11-22
Packaged: 2021-03-10 07:36:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 15,142
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27609812
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Neisseria_Meningitidis/pseuds/Neisseria_Meningitidis
Summary: Ferris, Al, Julius, Reinhard, and Subaru are booted out of their master's meeting. They decide to hit the town, in their dorky way.
Comments: 48
Kudos: 201





	1. The boys vs the world

**Author's Note:**

> Some of you wanted to see The Boys(TM) having some fun, so there you go. There is going to be some angst, because I'm weak.

“Don’t get me wrong, nyah~. I dig the mask, but you won’t exactly blend in the crowd with it on.”  
“When do I ever, pal?” 

Ferris didn’t know what he expected from Al. Maybe he secretly wished he would take off his helmet for tonight, but he should have known better. It was decided that it would be smart to hide their identities for this mission, and Al did it perfectly. He went from Priscilla’s weirdo knight to just a random weirdo, the disguise was perfect. But did he really need to pick such a scary 'Oni Mask'? 

Ferris himself chose a beautiful summer dress, Lady Crush gifted it to him to celebrate summer’s arrival. Memory loss or not, Lady Crush remained an incredible and generous woman. He hid his telltale cat ears beneath a wonderful floppy hat and rolled his tail beneath his dress. To the rest of the world, he would just be the cutest gal in town. 

Both Ferris and Al felt their carriage fidget as Reinhard and Julius got in. 

“Sorry for the wait.” Reinhard sat next to Aldebaran. “We were searching for something.”  
“Or rather someone, we tried to get Subaru out of his room, but our dear friend insists that he needs five more minutes.” Julius smiled, rolling his eyes, before taking place next to Ferris. “And it’s been less than five minutes for an hour.”  
“He said to wait for him in the car.” Reinhard didn’t seem to be bothered by the delay.  
“If one day he is needed for a real mission, he is toasted, nyah~.” Ferris laughed but he did mean it. Subaru was dangerously careless!

But they could give a pass for tonight, it was a mission only in name. The royals candidates decided to meet to have an open discussion between them, and them alone. Their poor loyal knights were kindly booted out of the meeting room. Fortunately, the security was high at their mansion, but it didn’t make them feel any better. 

Lost without direction, the five neglected men resolved to find a way to be useful to their master in the meantime. The candidates were to visit the famous downtown marketplace, where exotic items were sold and strange performers entertained the crowd. So they decided to visit it themselves tonight to plan effective security measures for tomorrow. A busy marketplace was the perfect place to inconspicuously stab someone, after all.

Ferris took a good look at Julius' disguise, the man had never been the most imaginative person in the world after all, and tended to be extremely bad at hiding his identity. But tonight, he was wearing round tinted glasses, a leather jacket and boots, and an unkempt half ponytail. 

“Who are you?” Ferris opened his eyes wide. “My Julius would never look like a ruffian, nyah~! Who did that to you??  
“Reinhard helped me.” he looked away. “But I think he went too far…”  
“Well, I think you pull off those sunglasses well, mate.” Al said.  
“Sunglasses?” he took his glasses off. “I don’t understand what those have to do with the sun?” he looked outside. “Moreover, it’s almost night.”  
“My bad, mate.” Al wondered what was the use for shaded glasses, if not for the sun. Even after eighteen years, he still had trouble understanding this world’s logic.  
“Can I try them, nyah~?” 

Reinhard smiled as he watched his friend playing with Julius’ glasses, even Al tried them over his mask. When Al gave them for him to try on, he wasn’t sure about what he should do with them. Put them on, of course, but he didn’t see what was so funny with them. Oh well, he wasn’t going to be a killjoy tonight. 

“My God, nyah~” Ferris was dumbfounded. “They don’t go with your clothes at all, but you’re still so stylish with them on!" Ferris clapped in excitement. “You could be wearing a trash bag and you would still be handsome, that’s so unfair, nyah~.”  
“Ah, I’m sorry, I’ll take them off now.”  
“Reinhard.” Julius held back a laugh. “You’re going to die from a modesty overdose one day.”  
“Ah, I’m sorr-”  
“You know what, dude. You’re not allowed to say sorry anymore for tonight.” Al wasn’t going to let this farce go on. The dude ought to stop feeling bad for just existing.  
“GOOD IDEA, NYAH~”  
“It seems we’re all in agreement.” Julius added. This was a wonderful idea. 

Reinhard wanted apologies again, but he closed his mouth. He was already getting on everybody's nerves, wasn’t he? 

For this outing, Reinhard had to dye his hair black, his red mop made him way too recognizable. On the other hand, if he hid it, nobody would think twice about him. As for his clothes, he took some neutral dark clothing and put on a red hooded cape on his shoulders. Red was a little weakness of his, the color was too close to his heart to give up completely. 

“By the way, nyah~. I’m Felicia for tonight! Lady Crush chose this name for me, and it suits me well, don’t you think?” Ferris struck one of his favorite cute poses.  
“Felicia, eh. Could be more original, pal.” Ferris didn’t appreciate Al’s reservation and stuck his tongue out. “As for me, call me El, pal!”  
“As if ‘El’ was any better, nyah!” Ferris sneered. “As for Julius, a little bird told me he won’t break the trend of similar-sounding names.”  
“Why? I have done something that would make you think that?” Julius looked slightly hurt. “I was thinking about Juli.”  
“Like the famous mercenary who helped to fight the witch's cult?” Ferris smirked, he took pity for Julius’ future children.  
“Why change a winning team? It worked the first time after all.”  
“Please, Reinhard, raise the bar. I beg you, nyah~” Ferris wasn't going to dignify Julius' statement with a response.  
“We have high expectations, dude. Don’t make us rely on Subaru.”  
“Ah. Well, Lady Felt took care of giving me an alias.”  
“Which is?” Julius lent over in curiosity.  
“Mmm.” Reinhard knew his lady choice was… unique. “She gave me the name Felt Junior.”  
“That’s rough, dude.” 

Ferris was already exhausted, he was aware that Felicia and Ferris had the same root, but El, Juli, and Felt Junior? They went too far. He hoped he would never have to call them by their fake names. 

“Can somebody help me get in the carriage, please?” 

A voice came from outside, but none of them recognized it. It was strangely androgynous and oddly familiar. Reinhard had a little idea about the voice's owner, but it was quite farfetched. He got out of the carriage to help the mystery person and found that the improbable was still possible. 

“Subaru?” Reinhard was impressed, if he had not been close to Subaru he would have been fooled.  
“It’s Miss Natsumi Schwartz for you.” Subaru winked at him and offered his hand to take. 

‘Natsumi’ was wearing a simple little black dress and one of Anastasia’s fur scarfs. ‘Her’ long hair was tied in a high ponytail by a massive orange ribbon. What impressed Reinhard the most was the height of ‘her’ heels and the quality of ‘her’ lopsided posture. Even ‘her’ face was unrecognizable due to ‘her’ make-up.

Saying nothing, Reinhard accepted the offered hand and helped his friend enter the carriage. 

“Waouh, I wasn’t aware you were bringing a date with you, dude.” Al said “Never took you for a playboy.”  
“Good evening.” Julius got up and bowed slightly. “I’m honored to meet you. My name is Julius Euculius, Lady Anastasia’s loyal knight.” he straightened himself. “I beg your pardon, but have we met before?” he was sure he had seen her face before, but where?  
“Nyah, I’m Ferris but…” Ferris got up to stand up in front of the woman, inspecting her closely. “NYYAAAAAAAH!” 

Ferris jumped backward. It was Subaru, he was sure of it. The woman looked nothing like him but he knew that smirk. Where did Subaru learn to put make-up so well? Ferris knew he had to ask him for tips now., but from Subaru of all people? Madness! 

“This is madness, nyah!”  
“No. This is Natsumi Schwartz.” Subaru smirked even wider. Natsumi never failed to impress.  
“We’re honored to be in your company, miss Natsumi. Where did Reinha-”  
“Sit back, Julius.” Ferris put his arm in front of his friend. “It’s Subaru.”  
“I beg your pardon?????” Julius was shocked. “My God.”  
“The fuck, buddy.” Al got up to have a better look at Subaru. “Even Ferris can’t assume heels like these.” 

Subaru was wearing the biggest shit-eating grin of his life. He would have loved to break Julius’ noble shtick himself. The confusion on his face was pure delight. But he knew he wouldn’t get past Ferris, he was a master in this art too, after all. 

“You can bow down to my talent, go on. Especially you, Juli.” Subaru dropped his fake voice. It was his disguise limiting factor, he had to keep his strength for later.  
“How did you know I was going to choose Juli as an alias?” Julius’ confusion knew no end.  
“That’s a useless question, nyah~.” Ferris pinched one of Subaru’s cheeks. “What blush did you use? Did you use kohl as eyeliner?”  
“We can talk on the way, we should get started.” Reinhard knew they could spend hours talking about make-up tips, he had to intervene.  
“Yeah, yeah, of course.” Subaru waved Reinhard’s worries away with his hand. “By the way, I knew you would be one of those douches who wear sunglasses in the middle of the night, Julius”  
“Why do you keep talking about the sun!” Julius was really dumbfounded. “It just tinted glass, it has nothing to do with the sun.”  
“Let it go, buddy, let it go.” Al knew what Subaru was thinking and it wasn’t worth it. 

The trip to the city was lively, with Subaru almost dying of laughter when he heard the other men fake names. He was happy to have not been subjected to Felt’s brand of malice, and truth be told, all of them were. He was pretty sure Felt wouldn’t have been to pull this bullshit with either Julius, Ferris, or Al… After giving it more thought, she could have. All of them. Subaru hoped he was not like them, he hoped but he knew that if it was Emilia asking… God, he was no better. 

When they arrived in town, they got out of the carriage and asked their driver to wait for their return. Reinhard didn’t know why but his instinct told him that the driver won’t be happy to see them back, but there was nothing he could do. At worst, Reinhard would carry them on his back. 

When Ferris got out, his nose filled with enticing scents. The marketplace was full of various food stands, coming from all across the world. This place was truly the heart of the continent, and he wanted to see and taste all of it. 

“Nyah~ There!” Ferris pointed to a stand far away. “That's where it comes from, the best smell of my life, nyah~! We need to go there!” 

Without waiting for his companion, Ferris rushed to the stand. He knew he was acting childish, but none of them could smell what he could, so none of them could legitimately judge his eagerness. They would understand when they would get to the stand themselves. 

Ferris pushed through the heavy crowd, they were not dumb, they too gathered near the doors of heaven. When he arrived in front of the stand, he was surprised to meet Reinhard, who arrived there before him. 

“I understand your haste, now. Those confections look and smell delicious.” Reinhard smiled as he looked at the sweets before him.  
“Nyah! How did ya get there so fa-” It was a stupid question, it was Reinhard.  
“You should have stayed with the other. I can bring some for everyone, Felicia.”  
“They didn’t follow us?”  
“They wouldn’t be able to keep your pace.” he laughed. “And we better stay together, it would be troublesome to lose someone in this crowd.” 

Reinhard took out a small purse from his cape. He quickly took what seemed to be a random amount of coin and gave them to the confectioner. 

“Would you kindly give us five of everything on display, please?”  
“Takin’ care of his lady, I see.” the confectioner playfully winked at Reinhard. “But I hope you don’t plan on eating them all tonight. You’ll end up with one hell of a tummy ache”  
“We’ll take your advice to heart.” 

Reinhard could say all he wanted, but Ferris wasn’t about to listen. He was going to eat all his share now or die trying. 

“There you go, you two.” the confectioner gave them a paper box. “Thanks for the business and the change, was about to need some.” 

As Ferris and Reinhard made their way back to the group, Ferris only had eyes for the box of wonders. Even in the box, he could still smell them, it was torture. He hoped some of the others wouldn't be able to finish their share and would take pity on him. 

“There they are!” Al looked at Subaru. “Miss Natsumi, couldn’t shut up about you.”  
“El was so mean with me, he kept making fun of my eagerness.” Subaru used his sweetest voice and put on a sad face. “I beg of you, put an end to my sorrow, and give me the damn box.” Subaru dropped the act and took the box from Reinhard’s hands.  
“Please, forgive Miss Natsumi’s rudeness, it’s not her fault if the gods made her that way.” Julius said with an innocent smile.  
“Shut up.” 

Subaru opened the box and opened his mouth in awe in front of the delicacies. If somebody tried to take his share, he was going to stab their eyes out with his stiletto. 

“Don’t hog everything for yourself, buddy. It’ll make you fatter than you are.” Al was not about to let Subaru eat everything. 

Julius took the box out of Subaru’s hand and took a few steps back. 

“I’ll protect the sweets from unwanted attacks. Take one at the time.” he pointed Ferris, Al, and Subaru with an accusing finger. “I will keep count.”  
“Is this really necessary, Juli?” Reinhard asked.  
“Yes. You are too naive, my friend.” 

Watching his friends like a hawk, Julius made sure everybody got his fair share. He had to keep Reinhard from giving away his multiple times. His friend was too nice, and he would not let others abuse his good heart on his watch. And wasn't going to let Reinhard reward Ferris, Al, and Subaru horrendous behavior. When they finished stuffing their mouth full, he kept the box to keep the rest of his share safe from nearby vultures. 

After eating, the group started to visit the marketplace, stopping every now and then to enjoy the various stands on display. It was hard to not transform their ‘mission’ into an out of control shopping spree but Julius kept watch. 

“Miss Natsumi, I think you had enough sweets for today.” Julius stood between Subaru and another candy stand.  
“Jeez, sorry MOM.” 

Everyone found something to buy and waste too much money on. Al brought some expensive Vollachian cigars. Fortunately for him, his knowledge was on point, as more than one seller tried to scam him out of his money. But he finally found the finest cigars out there, and he was going to keep them for a great occasion, Priscilla’s coronation for example. It would be hard to hold on until then, those were calling for him to smoke them right then and there. 

Ferris wanted to buy some Gusteko hats, but trying them on would reveal his demi-human heritage. He settled on a rare encyclopedia, he was a man of science after all and would never spit on some medical knowledge. He doubted that it would hold the secret for curing Lady Crush or the ‘sleeping beauties’ but it would be an interesting read anyway. 

Julius impulse brought an outrageously expensive rapier. He was ashamed by his lack of restraint, but the sword was worth all of Subaru’s taunting remarks and more. He found it among worthless steel and was about to walk away from the stand... and that would have been the greatest mistake of his life. He was not about to fight with it, no, he was going to dance. Only pure art could ensue from such an incredible piece of work. 

Reinhard’s interest was caught by a foreign jeweler. He found there wonderful necklaces and headbands that Felt would never accept to wear. He knew it was a helpless endeavor but he couldn’t help but buy a charming little tiara. He knew Felt would look quite regal with it on, he also knew she was going to throw it on his face when he would give it to her. Oh well, he managed to put her in a fancy dress, so nothing was impossible in this world. 

Subaru brought something that none of his companions understood the appeal of, not even Al. It was a manga, a fucking manga in the middle of Lugnica. Subaru knew of this particular one, and it was pure trash, but he couldn’t help himself. When he saw it, he wanted to cry his eyes out, luckily for him, he managed to hold back his tears without damaging his make-up. Pieces of his world were so rare, and couldn’t let one of them get away. Even if it meant buying a trash manga. 

During their shopping session, they noticed a great number of children gathering in front of a tall colorful box. All of them seemed extremely excited to be there and they all fought to sit the closest to the box. This curious anomaly was enough to make them get a closer look at the mystery box. 

“ARE YOU READY, CHILDREN?” A man standing next to the box shouted. “ARE YOU READY FOR THE TOMKINS???”  
“YEEEEAAAAH!” all the children answered the man with a loud cheer. 

The man opened the front of the box, it was a small theatre stage. He then went behind it, hiding himself from the view of the children. Suddenly, a small puppet with a red dress and ginger hair appeared on the stage. 

“ _Hohohoho._ ” a fake woman's voice came from the box. “ _It is I, Baroness Priscilla Barielle, hohohoho!_ ” 

All the children in the audience booed at the puppet entrance. 

Subaru walked toward the puppet theater and sat among the audience, he was always open to some ‘elite trashing’ or rather he was always open to ‘listening to the people's opinion on their political leaders’. 

“Are we really going to watch this, nyah~?”  
“Why not, shouldn’t we be aware of the people's opinion on our masters?” Julius sat next to Subaru. He knew Lady Anastasia was most likely going to be ridiculed, but running away from mockery would lead them nowhere.  
“All feedback is important, I think we should stay too.” Reinhard had never seen a puppet show before, this was going to be an interesting experience.  
“Yeah, pal. Relax a little, Lady Priscilla and Lady Crush are going to be shat on no matter what. We can at least enjoy the show.” 

Ferris begrudgingly sat next to the others, it was going to end badly, he was sure of it. 

“ _Boo all you want peasant, soon enough you WILL belong to mineself and the glorious Vollachian empire, hohohohoho!_ ”  
“ _As if I would let ya!_ ” a voice with an extremely offensive Kirigarian accent echoed in the marketplace. It was time for Anastasia’s entrance. “ _You have no right to steal my money, I mean, to hurt my people!_ ” 

“Fuck those foreign bitches!” a man in a nearby stand shouted.

Children followed the man's advice and booed Anastasia’s puppet as well. Julius wasn’t aware that Lady Anastasia’s affiliation with Kiraragi was such a point of contention. If only he was made aware of it by a less… vulgar caricature. 

“ _Hohohoho, I will throw mine useless dog at you. It will teach you to speak to mineself with such a dirty tongue._ ”  
“ _Woof, I am Al, Woof. Lady Priscilla’s loyal bitch!_ ” 

An Al puppet appeared on the stage, he had a dog ear on his helmet and a collar on his neck. The children cheered.

“Hahaha, it’s true that I am her bitch.” Al genuinely laughed. 

Ferris wanted to know how Al did to take everything with so much phlegm. It was impressive, sad, but impressive. 

“ _Oh no! Spirit knight, protect my money, I mean, protect my honor!_ ” the puppeteer made Anastasia put her hands on her mouth.  
“ _I am the spirit knight, Julius Euculius! Fear not my lady, I will protect thy honor!_ ”

A Julius puppet appeared at Anastasia's side. Then, the puppeteer showed his face to his audience. 

“CHILDREN, WHO DO YOU THINK WILL WIN THIS BATTLE????” 

The audience split in two, the children were antipathetic to the royal candidates but seemed to have their favorite knight. 

“Kids, vote for Al! Julius is an overrated dick.” Subaru was trying to tilt the crowd in Al’s favor.  
“How very mature of you, Miss Natsumi.” Julius raised an eyebrow at him.  
“What? They deserve to know the truth.”  
“You talk a lot for somebody who has yet to appear on stage.” Julius smiled sweetly, he couldn’t wait to see Subaru’s puppet. 

A facsimile of a fight began between the two puppets. But quickly enough, it ended up being Puppet Julius chasing around Al across the stage. 

“Yeah, those lads got me good.” Al was having a blast. 

The Priscilla puppet reappeared on stage. 

“ _I should have known that you were a useless servant, hohoho. Get out of my way, I will take care of the peasant knight._ ” 

Another fight began between Priscilla and Julius, this one was way more choreographed. The children were cheering for their favorite side, and so did Subaru and Al. Both of them were on Priscilla's side, Al by loyalty and Subaru to piss off his darling friend. 

“ _Enough of it, I am Crush Karsten and I will put an end to this foolishness._ ” 

Puppet Crush had a gigantic club in her hands, and repeatedly smashed Priscilla’s and Julius’s head with it. 

“YOU GO GET THEM, LADY CRUSH!” Ferris got up in excitement.  
“aRe wE rEaLly GOiNg tO waTCh ThiS, nyaaaaaaaaaaaaah~?” Subaru mocked Ferris’ earlier reservations.  
“I didn’t know they had such fine taste in women, nyaaah~!”

Both Priscilla's and Julius’ puppet exited the stage, leaving Crush alone in the middle of it. Soon a Ferris puppet with an even club popped up by his master's side. 

“ _I am, NYAH, Ferris, NYAH, Lady Crush’s, NYAH, pretty girl, NYAH!_ ” Puppet Ferris danced around. “ _And now, NYAH, I am going to, NYAH, help my lady, NYAH!_ ” 

Puppet Ferris swung around his giant club and hit Crush on her head. The audience laughed, to them it was the pinnacle of comedy. 

“ _Oops, NYAH! Are you ok, NYAH?_ ”  
“ _I feel like a charm. Now let me fight!_ ” Puppet Crush started to hit her own head with her club.  
“ _Oh no, NYAH! I hit her, NYAH, too hard, NYAH!_ ”  
“ _Look at me, I’m going to give up THE SACRED COVENANT. I am so smart. The dragon kingdom doesn’t need no dragon._ ” 

The crowd was laughing at the Crush puppet, and even Subaru and Al were shamelessly mocking Ferris’ lady. 

“This isn’t funny, nyah! Stop laughing!”  
“Well, I think it’s funny.” Julius didn’t hide his growing smile. “And all my little buds think so too.” he showed his six quasi-spirits flying around him in joy.  
“They don’t know anything about her, and they make fun of her like this. This is so unfair, nyah!” Ferris was almost crying, they never met her. Even with her memory loss, she only had the greater good of Lugnica in mind. She wasn’t even there to defend herself, they had no respect whatsoever.  
“I understand your anguish, Ferris. But you can’t police their thoughts.” Reinhard tried to comfort the poor boy, he knew how dear she was to him. But he also understood he couldn't keep people from having fun. 

A piece of ominous music came from behind the box, most likely from a barrel organ. 

“Run! RUN!” all the children and even the nearby adults started to shout at the puppets. “RUN BEFORE SHE CATCHES YOU!” 

The music grew louder and faster as the children grew turbulent. 

“ _HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!_ ” a burst of sinister laughter echoed. A puppet with long white hair entered the scene. “ _They call me Emilia, but I am the wicked WITCH!_ ” smoke started pouring out of the stage. 

The audience booed, some of the youngest children started to cry. Some of them began to throw small stones at the puppet, booing and insulting it. 

“Kill the witch! Kill the witch!” the children started chanting. 

Subaru looked away, it was a given that Emilia would be portrayed negatively, but it hurt. They all wanted her dead, all of them, children and adults alike. He didn’t know what he expected, but she worked so hard to fight the injustice toward her and others and they still hated her. She made babies cry and grown men shout for her head. 

“Are you ok, buddy?” Al shook Subaru out of his gruesome reverie. “We can go if ya want?”  
“No, no, it’s ok.” he wasn’t ok at all, but he couldn’t run away. “If I don’t know what misconception they have, how can I help them see her for what she really is, hahaha.” he forced a laugh but he wanted to scream.  
“KILL HER!” a little girl near him shouted. “KILL HER LIKE THEY KILLED DADDY!”  
“...” Subaru took a good look at the girl, she was crying, her grief was raw. But she wouldn’t believe him if he told her Emilia had nothing to do with the witch’s cult. None of them would. 

The rest of the group couldn't look away from Subaru, they all wanted to comfort him but they had nothing to say. Even they took some time to acclimate to Emilia’s appearance, they were raised to fear the witch before they could speak. 

A black hair puppet with the most bizarre clothing came out from beneath the stage. 

“ _I AM NATSUKI SUBARU!_ ” the puppet raised his arms in the air. “ _I am the commoner who fought the white whale and killed the archbishop of sloth!_ ” 

The children cheered, the knights were always more popular than their masters, but the difference was painfully obvious here. Reinhard took a look at Subaru, hoping the crowd's favor toward him would cheer him up, but the man was still looking sadly ahead. 

“RUN, RUN!” the children shouted. “RUN OR SHE WILL EAT YOUR HEART!” 

Julius winced but couldn’t look away from the small theatre. This was not going to end well for Subaru and Emilia. 

“ _Hahaha, I WILL EAT YOUR HEART AND YOU WILL BE MY SLAVE FOREVER._ ” a dark strip came out of Emilia's hand and wrapped itself around Subaru’s neck, keeping him on a leash. “ _NOW FIGHT FOR ME! AND THEN WE WILL DESTROY THIS FOOLISH LAND!_ ” 

The crowd got rowdy, some of the toddlers even got up to run in their parent’s arms. It was getting really intense for a puppet show. The puppeteer once again came out from behind the stage to address his audience. 

“Oh, no! The poor man got trapped by the witch! WHO CAN SAVE HIM?” the man encouraged the crowd to shout their answers. 

It only took the audience a few seconds to find the name of the greatest hero in Lugnica. 

“THE SWORD SAINT! THE SWORD SAINT! THE SWORD SAINT!” the crowd chanted in unison.  
“HE DIDN’T HEAR YOU!”  
“THE SWORD SAINT! THE SWORD SAINT!” the children in the back got up and used their hands as an amplifier.  
“ALRIGHT THEN!” the man went back behind the stage and a Reinhard puppet appeared from beneath.  
“YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAH!” 

Reinhard grimaced, it was hard to watch. Everybody around him called out his name and cheered him, but it felt wrong. The crowd was getting almost too loud to hear the puppet show, and some of the stand owners hit their wooden counters to make more noise. The euphoria around him was violent and it only grew with time. 

“ _I am the ‘Sword Saint’, Reinhard van Astrea!_ ” more cheers. “ _And I will slay the witch in the name of the dragon!_ ” 

Reinhard looked away, he didn’t want to see that, even if it was just a puppet show. 

“Have you seen Subaru?” Julius touched Renhard's shoulder.  
“Eh.” He looked around him, Subaru was nowhere to be seen. “I-I… ”  
“Fuck, buddy must have run away when nobody was looking. Must have been too much for him.”  
“Then he should have said so!” Ferris' words were harsh, but he was getting worried. Finding him in this crowd was going to be difficult. 

The four of them got up and left the puppet show behind, Al gave it a last glance before following the group, he really wanted to see what they would do with Felt’s puppet.


	2. Life not fun without a good scare

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Do not anger a demi-god, do not underestimate Julius, and do not follow Subaru into a shady mansion.

Finding Subaru was the number one priority, they couldn’t let him wander alone in an unfamiliar city. They decided to stay together to not complicate the situation any further, finding Subaru would be useless if they lost the rest of the group. Subaru was no child and could take care of himself, but he was wandering alone in an unknown city and he had a talent for attracting trouble. 

“We should have stopped when Emilia’s puppet made her entrance, we knew it was bad news.” Julius truly regretted his lack of foresight, he should have known it was going to break Subaru’s heart.  
“We should have never started to watch it in the first place, nyah~. We got nothing from it except tears and sadness.” 

The crowd was dense, making finding Subaru akin to finding a needle in a haystack. His black dress and ponytail didn’t make him stand out from far away, but there was hope that those who saw him pass by would remember him. 

“Hey, lad!” Al stopped by a weapon stand. “Have you seen a hot chick in a black dress running by? She has a black ponytail and a fur scarf. She was crying, maybe?”   
“With stilt instead of heels?” the man answered.  
“Yes!”   
“Hard to forget her, nobody else wears those kinds of things here. Which is a shame, it made me want to see what those endless legs of hers led to, ha!”   
“You’ll be surprised, lad. So where she went?”   
“Toward Mark’s road. If you’re her man you should run after her. This is no place for a pretty girl. This is no place for anybody if you want my opinion.”   
“Thanks, lad.”

As expected, Subaru ran straight into the most dangerous place in town. Sometimes, they wondered if he was doing it on purpose, he was never far away when bad things happened after all. The area near Mark's road was isolated and deserted, especially at this hour in the evening. Which was really bad news, it’s already been an hour since his disappearance and so much could have happened. 

“HELP! SOMEBODY HE-!” it was his voice. And he was close. 

Reinhard didn’t waste a single second and ran toward the voice, this situation reminded him of their first meeting but it was no time to reminisce, Subaru was in danger. Julius and Ferris followed Reinhard’s lead and Al ran after them, he didn’t like the direction the events were taking, he had no need for this kind of trouble. 

When Reinhard found him, he was cornered in a dead-end by five armed men. He was kneeling on the ground, face hidden by his hands and disheveled hair. He hoped he wasn’t too late and not even a second later Julius was by his side. 

“I am going to ask you to let go of my friend.” 

Reinhard had no weapon on him, but he never needed any. He was blocking the dead-end's only exit with Julius and soon enough Al and Ferris joined them. Four of the five turned around to greet their new company, the last one made sure to their victim in sight.

“Allow me to repeat myself. Please, back off of my friend and return to your usual peaceful activities.”   
“Look like this whore has a few knights in shining armor coming to the rescue.” one of the men walked toward the group. A single flame appeared wordlessly in the palm of his hand.   
“Listen, flame-guy, I don’t want to fight but those guys are going to bite your heads off if you don’t stop with your shit.” Al had no interest in a street fight, he just wanted to enjoy the marketplace and chill with friendly chaps.   
“I would like to see you try.” the man and his goons laughed. “Let me ask you something too. You, the two other bitches, and the little girl should put your tail between your leg and run. Now.” the flame in his hand grew bigger. 

Julius was about to unsheathe his newly brought blade when Reinhard barred him from getting closer to the man. He could take care of it alone, no need to involve anyone else. Had he been wearing a wig instead of dyeing his hair, he could have made his true identity known and scare the felons away, a missed opportunity on his part. 

“I am afraid I must give you an ultimatum. You have ten seconds to leave the premise.” Reinhard was glaring at the presumed leader with cold hard eyes.   
“Or else?” the man laughed.   
“10.” He didn’t answer and began to count. 

‘Reinhard’s merciful nature is going to be the end of him,’ Ferris thought. He should have blitzkrieged them away. 

“9.”

Al prepared himself, he wasn’t needed here but running away would do nothing but incur the other’s wrath on him. 

“8.”

Subaru threw a glance at his friend but said nothing. He just wanted it to be over.

“7.” 

The man silently channeled a large amount of mana in his palm, making the flame grow ten times larger. Before he had a chance to unleash his inferno, Julius unsheathed his sword and pointed it toward him. Ia, his fire spirit, came out from hiding and placed itself at the very tip of the sword. The quasi-spirit gathered mana and froze the air around the leader's hands, trapping it in ice and keeping him from releasing his fire magic. 

“6.” 

The other criminal sneered and drew their weapon, they had underestimated their opponents

“5.”   
.   
The leader had enough, burning his fire to melt the ice, he freed his hand and spat at those stupid fools. 

“You're going to get what you deserve then!” the man spat again. “Kill the whore and teach them a lesson.” Nobody could make a fool of him and get out alive. 

The closest goon to Subaru started to raise his knife in the air when a powerful wind blew it away from his hand. 

“ENOUGH!” Reinhard took a single step toward the men, destroying the ground beneath his feet and blasting the air around him as if he was the eye of a hurricane.   
“...” Julius' face went pale. He never heard Reinhard raise his voice in such a way before.  
“Had I been a better man, I could have convinced you to lay your weapon down.” Reinhard took another step, bringing even more destruction than before. “But I am afraid that you are going to pay the price of my weakness.” 

With his now free hand, the leader threw a torrent of flame toward Reinhard. The heat was so intense Ferris, Al, and Julius had to shield their eyes from the burning inferno. Reinhard didn’t stop his stride even as wild flames devoured him. Even though the criminal struck true, he didn’t stop his attack only pouring more mana in it, he was going to incinerate this clown. He was smiling, savoring his vengeance when he got his breath kicked out of him. The impact sent him flying toward the end of the dead-end and left him on the verge of death. 

As the flame died with their summoner’s consciousness, they revealed Reinhard still walking toward Subaru, unscathed. The other criminals knew they had lost, but were lucid enough to know that mercy was out of the question. The man walking toward them was nothing short of a god and he was seeking his tribute. 

In desperation, one of them took hold of Subaru as a bargaining chip. A futile move that did nothing but anger the devil in front of them as their hostage wasn’t as helpless as they thought. If Subaru had no chance against five armed people, he could easily get rid of one of his captors. He hammered his elbow in the man's stomach and drove his heel in one of his feet. After impaling the man’s feet, he kicked him toward the wall, taking him out in an instant. 

As Reinhard was about to reach for one of the three remaining threats, Julius unleashed a new blast of ice from his sword. This one was infinitely more powerful than the first, ensnaring two of the thugs in an ice coffin. Al followed Julius' example and invoked a set of earth walls to trap the last one of them, putting an end to this confrontation. 

Reinhard didn’t bat an eye at his friends' intervention and continued to walk toward Subaru before hugging him in relief. 

“Hey, hey. No need to hold me so tightly." Subaru wiggled to create some breathing room. "I’m alright! Barely bruised!” 

Subaru tried to flash him a smile, he wanted to put this fiasco behind him as fast as he could. A big mistake on his part, as revealing his face to Reinhard uncovered how swollen half of it was. 

“You’re hurt!” Ferris ran toward his injured friend.   
“Ah, this. Nothing but a flesh wound.” Subaru smiled even wider to prove his point.   
“A FLESH WOUND, NYAH?” Subaru was driving Ferris crazy. “They broke your cheekbone!” Even though he was raging, Ferris gently placed his hand over the broken bone and let his magic do its work. 

Julius took his time to reunite with the other as he stopped in front of the two men he embedded in ice. Their heads were stinking out nice of the body of ice, allowing them to breathe and even talk. 

“He was about to kill you, are you aware of that?” Julius wanted to know the extent of their foolishness.   
“So what? Want us to suck your dick for sparing us?” one of the men sneered at him.   
“Please, do not misunderstand me. I did not intervene to save you.” Julius scoffed at them before throwing them a last glance. “I did it because I don't want your dirty blood on his hands.” 

Julius flipped his hair and reunited with his friends, he wanted to slap their faces off, but it would be gratuitous. Al, on the other hand, had no qualm about killing them or letting Reinhard do it, he just didn’t want to have a body on his shoulders. Participating in a… spicy street fight is a thing, having to get rid of a few bodies were another. 

Ferris healed the unconscious criminal, making sure to make them sleep for a long time. They would tip the authorities on their location later. 

Even though all traces of the incident had left Subaru’s face and that the man himself smiled at him, Reinhard felt absolutely awful. He failed to see his pain at the puppet show and he failed to save him before he got hurt. And who knew what they did to him before they arrived? Subaru would rather die than telling them, he was sure of it. 

“Subaru.” Reinhard took a deep breath, not letting his friend go. “I’m sor-”  
“Tsss.” Subaru put his finger over Reinhard's mouth. “They told me about your ‘no apologies’ rule. And I won’t let you use me as an excuse to violate it.”  
“Can’t you be serious for once?” Reinhard let a sour laugh.   
“Nope. No es possible. I would die from it.” Subaru freed himself from Reinhard's grasp. 

He then walked around the place as if nothing happened, spinning around in his dress and humming to himself. 

“Are we going to camp here? Haven’t we an entire marketplace to visit? We still have a mission, don’t we?” Subaru walked out of the dead-end without looking at his assailants.   
“Don’t you want to talk about it, nyah~? It must have been hard for you? Just because I healed your face doesn’t mean nothing happened.”   
“Ferris.” Subaru dramatically turned his upper body to look at Ferris. “If I stopped at the first sign of trouble, I would still be aimlessly wandering in the capital right now.”  
“Let’s go, buddy.” Al put his arm around Subaru’s shoulder. “We respect your choice.” 

Ferris wanted to scream, somebody should take Subaru somewhere calm and put back his brain into place. The man had no survival instinct and life let him get away with it, worse sometimes it rewarded him for it. If he kept adding trauma and near-death experience on his back without sharing his burden, he was condemned to have a breakdown one day. But everybody let him get away with his self-destructing behavior because he knew how to charm their worries away. Somebody should talk to him one day but it wasn’t Ferris’ job, Subaru wouldn’t listen to him anyway. 

“He worries me a lot too, Ferris.” Julius walked by Ferris’ side. “But now is not the time, all we can do is lend him an ear when he'll want to talk.”   
“But what if he is never ready, nyah!”   
“Then, we will be there to help him get back up when he’ll eventually break.” Julius would pay a good sum of money to know what went through Subaru’s mind, but such a feat was impossible. 

They quickly reached the marketplace, Subaru used his classic antics to wipe away the gloomy mood and lift everybody's spirit. They worried far too much, this little incident was already old news to him. If he had to rank it in his ‘worst things that ever happened to me’ list, it would be #232 or something similar. So he did his best to cheer them up, Al was an easy job and Julius warmed up rather quickly. Ferris and Reinhard on the other hand forced him to use his best cheerleader skills. On this front, none of them held a candle to him and they all eventually started to laugh at his jokes again. 

While walking around the market, they noticed a man sitting behind a small box with three cups on it. The man switched the cups at varying speeds and asked customers to find a hidden pearl.

“Well, well. Young lady, young sir. Are you interested in a little game?” the man approached Ferris and Al.   
“Don’t, pal. It’s a scam.” Al said to Ferris.   
“Aaaah, shoot, nyah~.” He wouldn’t lie, he was interested in the game. He was sure he could win, but if Al said it was a scam…   
“A scam?! How? It’s just a little game between friends!” the man then turned toward Subaru and Julius. “And you, young fellows? Interested? It’s a perfect way to impress a lady.”   
“Ah! As if! Neither Jul-”   
“I accept.” Julius interrupted Subaru.  
“Juli… El is right, it is a scam.” Reinhard was surprised by Julius’ behavior, he was the first one to call a scam out usually.   
“Do not worry for me, I am not duped easily. Moreover, our new friend is right, it is nothing but a game.” 

The man invited Julius to sit on the chair in front of the box, he knew he could hook one of them into the game. He was thinking about one of the ladies or the tall one with black hair, but there was no use in being picky. 

“So, dear friend. Do you know how to play this game?”   
“Absolutely not. Would you mind telling the rules?” Julius put his hand under his chin.   
“I would be charmed to! It’s child's play! I will hide this little pearl under one of these cups and then I will move them around! Your job is to follow the pearl and tell me under which cup it is!” the man made a demonstration of the game. “Let’s start with a freebie, between you and me!”   
“I think the pearl is under this one.” Julius lifted the cup to find the pearl beneath it.   
“Ah! You are incredible at this game, you’re actually going to make me lose money!”   
“It was just beginner’s luck!” Julius waved his victory away.

Ferris looked at the game being played and he managed to follow the pearl too. 

“You lied to me, ‘EL’! It’s no scam!” Ferris punched Al’s arm in retribution.   
“Wait and see, pal. Wait and see.” 

Julius put a few coins on the table and the man started the game anew. He felt he could milk this ‘customer’ until the last drop, so made sure to keep this round ‘clean’ and let him win it. It was the best way to hook a sucker after all. 

“This one.” Julius pointed at the cup in a graceful manner.   
“And you did it again! Marvelous!”   
“He did it again, nyah~!” This game was too easy, he should have accepted to play. 

This time the man decided it was time for the real game to start, and incited Julius to place a bigger bet. When Reinhard saw the actual amount, his eyes almost popped out of their orbits, was Julius becoming mad? 

“Juli, it’s enough, you shou-”  
“Please, please. I came here to have some harmless fun, let me play as I wish.”   
“That’s what I want to hear!” the man moved the cup, making sure to switch the pearl’s place. “So dear friend, can you find the pearl this time.”   
“Take this one, take this one!” Ferris pointed to the leftmost cup.   
“Do you agree with this lovely lady?” like a moth to a flame.   
“Ah. I was distracted during the jumble... So I will let fate choose in my stead.” Julius let his finger jump from one cup to the other mumbling inaudible words. “This one, please.”   
“Nyyyyaaaah, you got it wrong!”   
“Ahem.” the man was not pleased. “Seems like Lady Fate is sensible to your charm! You are right!” he would get his revenge next round. “But you won’t end your winning streak in such a way, right?”   
“Well, of course. I’ll make sure to make proper attention next time” 

The man gave Julius his due, but just as planned Julius bet it back and even added more money. He really found a lucky sucker, didn’t he? The man mixed the cups again and switched the pearl once more. He wanted to make sure that Julius followed the ‘right’ cup with his eyes this time, but the tinted glass made it quite difficult. Still, he looked focused enough. 

“So, young lad, did you pay attention this time?”   
“Actually, I did.” Julius smiled warmly as he played with one of the coins.  
“And it’s this one, right??” Ferris pointed giddily one of the cups. “I was wrong last time, but I followed the pearl really closely this time, nyah~!”  
“You never learn, don’t you. You make me want to scam your money out of you, pal.” Al had lost a lot of respect for Ferris today.   
“Juli?” Subaru lent over Julius' shoulder and started to whisper in his ear. “What the fuck are you doing?”   
“Me?” Julius faced Subaru. “I am just playing, dear.”   
“Sweet lady, I know you are worried for your man but you should trust him a little more.” the man laughed.   
“Ah, yes. I am just really worried for my sweet love.” Subaru put his hands over Julius' shoulders and started to squeeze them viciously. “My sweet love can be quite the airhead sometimes” he squeezed harder.  
“You are too kind, dear.” If Julius was hurting, he didn’t show it. “Then since it’s our second wedding anniversary, I will choose the second cup.”   
“Why?” the man was panicking. “This is quite a… foolish move.” he wanted to slap some sense into this man.   
“Ah, the things I do for love.” Julius lifted the second cup. “Oh, there it is! Dear, my love for you guided me once again.”   
“Ahahahahahahah.” Subaru laughed before whispering in Julius’ ear once again. “You better give me some of this damn money.” 

The man was about to put an end to this joke, but he couldn’t just let all of ‘his’ money go in this moron’s pocket. He and his wife could go to hell. Once again, Julius betted all the money and added some more to the table. The number of coins in play was outrageous. The man kept cheating, but as Julius kept winning, Reinhard chose to keep his mouth shut.

“Last round! After I close up shop, you are ruining me!”   
“Ah, yes. I don’t want to worry my dear heart any longer.”   
“Use this money to buy something nice and I’ll let you play longer, sweetie.” Subaru warped his arms around Julius’ neck. What seemed like an affectionate gesture was more of a reminder of his looming presence. Julius was having too much fun to his taste.   
“Your ambition is what makes you so loveable, dear.”   
“Yes, yes. Sorry to interrupt such adorable lovebirds, but we have a game to play.”   
“I would give you my advice, nyah~. But it seems I’m really bad at this game.” Ferris held back a tear.   
“So, my friend, do choose!” the man made sure to switch the pearl multiple times.   
“My love, I feel my luck evading me. Would you kindly kiss me for good luck?” Julius presented his hand to Subaru. He was having one of the best times of his life, Subaru was too easy to tease and taunt.   
“Hahahaha.” Subaru tightened his arms around Julius’ neck. “You’re so funny, ha ha hahaha.” he then added in Julius’ ear “I’ll take 90% of your gains.” he then kissed Julius on the cheek, fighting off the desire to bite him instead.   
“Thank you, dear. Then I will choose… this one.” he smiled and tried to lift the cup but the man took his hand.  
“What’s your fucking deal?”   
“I beg your pardon?” Julius feigned ignorance. 

The man was not amused, he was being played like a newborn. His ‘customer’ was only playing dumb, and he ate his lies right up. He was supposed to be better than that. But he knew what to do, it was not the first smartass he met. He always had a few of his buddies around the corner to recover his losses. 

“Well, I have a few friends to introduce you to.” The man was about to signal his friends.   
“How charming. I have friends too.” Julius smiled, showing a bit of teeth.   
“I think you don’t get what I me-” the man felt something warm next to his stomach. 

Looking down to see what was next to his belly, he saw a tiny red light floating. He then felt another one at his right side, then another again at his left side. He was getting surrounded by rather hostile spirits. He could feel their power oozing from them, those were very powerful. The man looked at his ‘customer’, no, his captor, who was still smiling. 

“Not only do you have many friends, but you are popular with the fairer sex. What a lucky man you are.” Julius got up and took all the money on the table. “Now, if I may, I’ll take my due and let you close shop. Do you have any objections?”   
“...” the man said nothing, even if he called his friends, those quasi-spirits were no jokes. Better lose the money and live another day.   
“Good. With this, farewell.” 

Julius walked away from the man and called back for his little buds, they did a phenomenal job, first telling him where the pearl was then helping reason with their new friend. After putting some distance between them and the unlucky scammer, they stopped to see how much Julius won. 

“Dear God, I didn’t think you had it in you, mate!” Al was truly impressed, Julius was not to trifle with.   
“I never thought you could be so cunning.” Reinhard was happy to see a new side of his friend, but it was quite frightening. “But I guess even the most graceful rose has its thorns.”   
“I’m sorry, but those kinds of con-artists anger to no end. They prey on the naive and innocent. Ferris almost fell to his malfeasance.”   
“I’m sorry, nyah~.” Ferris looked at the ground. “I can’t resist the sirens of gambling…” 

After visiting the more recluse part of the marketplace, the group started to feel exhausted from this long eventful evening. But of course, they wanted to finish with a bang, so they started to think about what their last activities should be. 

“Hey, friend.” Al stopped a random man in the market. “If ya could do only one thing here before dying, what would ya do?”   
“Depends… But I guess the Witch’s Manor.”   
“Ooooooh, spooky!” Subaru put himself between Al and the man. “Is it a haunted house?”   
“I don’t know what you mean by ‘haunted house’, but it’s not for the faint-hearted.”  
"Perfect! IT IS PERFECT! Where is it?”  
“Are you sure? I’m not sure it’s good for a frail little girl like you.”   
“...” Subaru didn’t say anything, he just let his naturally terrifying eyes resurface. Giving the man the look his mother saved for when he truly fucked-up.   
“Aaah. It’s over there…”   
“Thank you!” he blew him a kiss and took Al’s hand. 

Reinhard scratched his head, horror stories never had an effect on him. Nothing could really scare you when you had a little voice in your head giving you the best course of action in any dangerous situation. So he doubted a ‘haunted house’ would fare any better. But if Subaru put his mind on something, nothing could make him change his mind. The power of his determination was terrifying sometimes, and Reinhard wondered what would happen if Subaru wanted to partake in some villainous actions. That would end badly, surely. 

“I hope this ‘haunted house’ is no bullshit. He hyped me up.” Al adjusted his mask.  
“I hope this ‘haunted house’ is pure bullshit. My little heart is fragile, nyah~!” 

Julius didn’t know what to expect, he wanted to feel the thrill of a good scare, yes, but wandering in a fake ‘haunted house’ seemed juvenile. He shouldn’t judge it so fast, but he had a hard time believing in its scary potential. 

It took them thirty minutes to reach the manor, it was nested on a hill, near a smallish lake. Julius had to admit, the manor really had a sinister feel to it. 

“Good evening, ladies and gentlemen! Are you here to challenge the Witch’s manor?” a woman in a long black dress greeted them.  
“YES! YES! YES!” Subaru was jumping in place.   
“Are you aware of the history of this cursed place.?”  
“NO! NO! NO!” Subaru was still jumping in place. 

The woman started to lead them to the entrance of the manor, climbing the stairs slowly. Only using an oil lamp to light up the way until the wooden door. The woman then put the lamp on a strange statue near her. 

“This place was the home of some awful witch cultists.” she did a dramatic pause. “In order to free their dark goddess they made the most gruesome experiments.”   
“Ah.” Ferris was already getting uncomfortable.   
“They kidnapped nearby villagers, girls and boys, children and the elderly alike. Their vile nature knew no end.”  
“But what were those experiments?” Reinhard asked, genuinely curious.   
“They thought some people were naturally linked to the witch. And that killing them painfully would awaken their goddess.”  
“Nasty.” Al commented.   
“And to find those victims, they used bloodhounds that could smell the witch’s miasma on them.” she looked away. “Nobody knows why some people have this smell on them. And anybody can have it.” the woman turned to face Subaru. “Even you, young lady.”  
“Really? That would be odd, haha.” Subaru didn’t blink, this was getting too real.   
“Yes, they say she favors young beautiful women. You and your lady friend should watch out.”   
“We should????” Ferris was not liking any of this. 

The door of the manor opened on their own, a violent gust of wind coming out of it. 

“The manor invited you in. It’s too late to go back now. I wish you good luck.” The woman took back her lamp and went down the stairs. 

Julius was the first to go in, entering a large well-lit hall. He could feel his little buds dancing under his hair like they always did when they were anxious, the mansion’s lady really did an impression on them. Ferris took Al’s arms and followed Julius in, Al seemed to be unaffected by the scare-factor of this manor, so he should make an alright companion for the visit.

“It’s alright, pal. If you’re scared you can jump in my arms. Can’t guarantee I will catch you, though.” 

Subaru and Reinhard were the last, they all gathered in the hall and started to look for clues on what to do next. It wasn’t Subaru's first 'haunted house' and he had a very bad track record with them, but he hoped his relative experience would help him. He began by examining one of the portraits on the wall, moving paintings were a classic after all. 

“Do you find this one interesting? Is it to your liking?” Reinhard followed Subaru in his examination. He seemed to be the one who knew the most about this kind of entertainment.   
“Nope. Nope. Nope. I don’t like his face at all!” 

One of Julius' little buds went straight to the large fireplace. Julius followed, trusting his quasi-spirit instinct, and started to inspect the 'marble' frame. He knew by just touching it that there was something unusual about it. 

He was deep in thought when the light went out and the main door closed in a bang, leaving the hall completely in the dark. He felt himself moving even though he was perfectly immobile and the ground shook beneath his feet. 

“It's not me, I swear! I didn't touch anything!” 

Julius heard Subaru's panicked voice getting quieter as the ground stopped shaking. When the light came back, he was alone in a poorly lit corridor. Looking behind him, he saw the same fireplace that he touched. He was unfortunately cut off from the rest of the group, but as long as his little buds were with him, he feared nothing. But he had to admit, this Witch's Manor was more interesting than he thought. To cover more ground he decided to send five of his little buds to scout the mansion, he trusted them to come back to him when needed. He kept Io with him to help light his way around the mansion. 

Still trapped in the dark main hall, Subaru started to panic. He just touched a single candle on the wall and everything went downhill from here. The light, the door, the shaking ground, and now a great bang reverberated in the hall. He bit his tongue to keep himself from screaming but he was going to give in soon. 

A row of blue little light appeared on the walls, illuminating faintly the main hall. Subaru looked around him to understand what happened and found that a thick earth wall came from the ground, cutting the main hall in half. 

“Dude! Buddy! You’re on the other side?” Al's voice came from behind the earth wall. “I’m with… ah… FELICIA here!” using the fake names was too hard for him.   
“Miss Natsumi and I are safe on this side of the wall.” Reinhard looked around. “But are you sure Juli is not with you?”   
“NYAH! THEY TOOK JULIU-” Ferris was about to cry. He was stuck in half a hall with Al and he didn’t know what would happen next.   
“SSsssshhhh. Nope, Juli’s not here, dude.” Al had to admit, this 'haunted house' was not for little children. Maybe for teens, but as an adult, he was totally not affected.   
“We should look for him, then. A door opened on our side, maybe he went through there.”  
“NOPE. There is no door, he is hallucinating. We’re not going anywhere!” Subaru refused to take the scary hallway, he had enough scary hallways in his life.   
“It’s only a game, Miss Natsumi. Do not worry, I won’t leave your side.” 

Reinhard took Subaru by the hand and started to explore the new hallway. He wanted his friend to have fun, not just to cry in a dark room. If Subaru needed a little coaxing to start enjoying the mansion, Reinhard was going to give it to him. 

On the other side of the wall, Al also found a new opening and started to follow the new path. Ferris watched in horror as Al left his side to enter an even darker place. Following him deeper into this hell was the last thing he wanted. But after a few seconds of consideration alone in the dark hall, Ferris ran after Al.

When Ferris entered the new room, he suddenly missed the relative normality of the main hall. This room was entirely empty save for a dozen mannequins in full witch cultist’s attire, facing the walls. 

“El, for the love of God, if one of those things starts to move, I’ll kill you!” Ferris had heard too many evil living dolls stories to feel comfortable in this room.   
“Don’t worry, pal. Even if they are alive, I’m sure we could beat them up. Expect if they can use magic, then we’re totally screwed.”   
“DON’T SAY THAT, NYAH!” 

Nes might have been a shadow quasi-spirit, but it didn’t mean that she was not afraid of the dark. She would have loved to stay by Julius’ side, but he needed her help to unlock the secrets of this mansion. So she explored the mansion for her master’s sake. He was lucky she loved him so much. 

Hearing Ferris' voice in the distance, Nes rushed toward it, she had found one of her master’s friends! Once Nes entered the mannequin's room, she met face to face with the most terrifying face. She followed her master all around the world, but she never saw something so ugly and unsightly in her spirit life. She tried to fly away from the face without leaving the room completely, only to find a worse one and a worse one and a worse one. She started to panic, she didn’t want to abandon her master’s friend but it was getting too much for her. She tried one last time to stay with them but she saw the worst this room had to offer: what looked like an eyeless Petelgeuse. 

Nes had reached her limit. A deformed Petelgeuse from hell was too much. If she had had her master by her side, it would have been fine, but she was all alone. Panicking, she did what most yin users did when distressed: hiding themself in a Shamac spell and running away. Julius was going to be sad, but she was sure he would understand her point of view. 

Al was hesitating to touch one of the mannequins when the room filled itself with a cloud of thick disorienting smoke. Al had to admit, whoever put this mansion together was good, maybe a little too good. 

“NYAAAAH! THEY CAN USE MAGIC!” Ferris ran toward the door while he still could, only to find it closed. “LET ME GO!” he clawed at the door as the shadows swallowed him. 

Unable to pinpoint where they were in the room and driven by terror, they both started to run in a random direction. In their flight, they knocked over the mannequins making an unnerving cacophony of fallen bodies, and even ran into each other before screaming in pure fright. 

A few rooms away from Al and Ferris, Subaru could hear their scream of sheer terror. 

“Don’t be scared, they must have met someone in a scary costume.” Reinhard smiled at his anxious friend. “I would know it if they were really in danger.” 

Subaru didn’t feel any better. ‘I would know if they were dying’ was not good enough, far from it. Reinhard did his best, but walking down a hallway in ruin and covered in ‘fake’ blood was slightly unnerving. But what made it worse, was how chilling the temperature was. It reminded him of a certain endless hidden tunnel. This world ruined snow for him, he could never see it the same way anymore. Dead was his childhood innocence where snow brought joy to his heart, now it was only a prelude for horror. 

Reinhard read every message on the wall, most of them were vague warnings about the witch or some calls for help. He wondered what they used for the fake blood effect, one of his blessings told him it was a sugary liquid but nothing more. He actually wanted to taste some, but Subaru was nervous enough without him acting like a lunatic.

The part of the hallway in front of them was wider than before and the floor was covered in black and white tiles. Reinhard, who was leading the duo, stopped in front of the tiled floor. There was a trap in front of them, he just knew it. Nothing major, nothing deadly, but a trap nonetheless. One of the messages on the walls flashed back in his mind, something about looking out for the darkness under one’s feet and over one’s head. Looking up, Reinhard saw the same tiled pattern as the floor on the ceiling. From then, the way to avoid the trap was obvious: don’t touch the darkest tiles. 

“There is a trap hidden in this hallway.” Reinhard turned to face Subaru.  
“...” Subaru did not need to hear that.   
“But don’t worry!” he should have started by reassuring him before dropping the unpleasant information. “As long as you only walk on the white tiles, you should… you will be fine.” Reinhard made a demonstration of his strategy, reaching the end of the hallway without any trouble. “Tada! You see, no problem! But if you’re still unsure, I could carry you.”  
“NO!” Subaru hit the floor with his heel. “I still have my man’s pride, you know. I’m walking on my own. I’ll just… take my time doing it.” Subaru started to make his way slowly, making sure to carefully avoid the black tiles. 

Ik prided herself on being Julius’ most loyal spirit. They were all loyal to him, but she was the most devoted. When Julius asked her to explore (alone) the darkest recess of a cursed witch cultist's mansion, she was far from ecstatic. She almost protested, but she couldn’t get herself to disappoint her master and friend. Even Kua didn’t object, and she was the biggest coward of them all. So Ik had no choice but to carry on, her pride as an earth quasi-spirit demanded it. 

Ik made the unique choice of forfeiting her wall-passing abilities to attach herself to a little stone. She couldn’t help herself, nothing soothed an earth spirit like earth itself. None of the other spirits could understand, but as long as she had a bit of earth with her, she could face anything. And she needed all the help she could get to brave this scary mansion. 

After weaving her way in a tiny hole in a wall, she found herself in a long hallway. She felt herself jumping in joy when she saw some of Julius’ friends in the distance. Now that she found them, Julius would be so proud of her. And she found two of them, so he was going to be double proud! Ik made her way to Subaru and Reinhard, waving up and down in absolute bliss. Quasi-spirit like herself had a hard time expressing themself to humans (except to Julius of course, Julius understood her better than anyone), so she made a habit to use her movement to communicate with humans. She flew toward them and stopped just behind Subaru who was taking unusually long strides to advance. 

“Ik?” Reinhard saw the little quasi-spirit behind Subaru.  
“Ik? Ik, what? What does that mean???” Subaru didn’t need Reinhard saying cryptic bullshit.   
“!!!” Ik was so happy, she found Reinhard and he recognized her! Nobbing in her own way, Ik started to fly up and down and up and down. Unfortunately for her, she went through the ceiling in her excitement.   
“Oh!” Reinhard couldn’t say anything else, as he powerlessly watched the quasi-spirit and her little stone hit one of the black tiles on the ceiling. 

Emerging through the ceiling to the floor upstairs, Ik didn’t understand how she got there, but she knew it was bad news. Looking around for her peddle, she started to panic. She had lost the only thing getting her through this hell! Taking the closest stone near her, she went on her way to find back her master. She was sure he would understand she wasn't meant for recon missions. 

While he was still making his way through the hallway, Subaru heard a faint noise and something falling behind him. Not daring to look behind him, he stopped right into place. He then heard a click above his head and felt something ungodly cold fall on him. Not trying to make sense of the situation he started to run to escape whatever was falling on him. 

“YOU LIED TO ME! YOU LIED TO ME!” Reinhard told him nothing bad would happen if he stayed on the white tiles and he lied to him. “YOU LIED TO ME!”  
“Subaru, be careful!”   
“CAREFUL OF WHAT?! IT’S ALREAD-” one of Subaru’s heel broke under the abuse, making him trip on the floor.  
“Are you alright??” Reinhard ran to Subaru’s side.  
“Ahhh.” he wanted to cry. “KILL ME ALREADY!” he wanted it all to stop, he just wanted it all to stop.   
“It could be worse.” Reinhard looked at the poor man laying on the floor, covered in a strange red goo.   
“Hooooow?” he was not in the mood for platitudes.  
“I don’t know… But it could have been.” 

Reinhard helped Subaru to stand up, staining his own clothes with the red substance. It was most likely the fake blood they used for the bloody message. The urge to taste it to know what it was made of was stronger than ever, but Reinhard kept his weird impulsion to himself. 

“I think you should take off your shoes. It is no good to have a leg longer than the other.” 

Subaru took them off without a word and threw them against a wall. He was being punished by some kind of sadistic gods, he was sure of it. He just wanted the traditional ‘haunted house’ experience, with fake skeletons and maybe some dudes behind masks, not being trapped in a mix of Dracula’s castle and an ancient Egyptian tomb. Why was everything so hard here, couldn’t he have a break for once in his new life? 

Ferris and Al finally got out of the mannequin’s room by destroying a tiny bit of wall. Ferris would feel bad if the owner of the mansion didn’t booby trap a room full of fake witch cultists. Unfortunately, he didn’t escape the room unscathed and half his dress had been thorned in the fight for their life. He lost his hat too, but it was the least of his problems. In an unexpected gentleman move, Al offered the poor Ferris his own shirt to wear. Ferris gladly took it, walking in underwear in this mansion of doom would have been less than ideal. 

Saying that Ferris was a scaredy-cat would have been an understatement, his exhaustion made him paranoid. He was looking around as if he was trying to find which shadow would kill him. Even Al’s presence was unnerving. Only one thing was clear in his disturbed mind: when he would find Subaru, he would kill him. It was his fault if he was here in the first place and he was not going to forget that. He would take his revenge. 

Al was looking straight ahead to avoid having to see disturbing things. The shadow room had been the final straw and his mind couldn’t take it anymore. Whoever built this mansion was a madman who didn’t care if his guest got hurt. Maybe he wanted one of them to die in a publicity stunt. He knew that this world would not have the same draconian regulations as his homeworld, but this was insane. He almost killed Ferris in his panic, or at least, almost injured him. He even tore his dress by accident, not that he would tell Ferris it was his fault. 

“Hey, pal.”  
“Yes?” Ferris didn’t have time to talk, he had to stay focused. Even the wind could betray them.   
“The silence is killing me, pal. Maybe we should talk to lighten the mood.”   
“...” Ferris didn’t listen, he was too focused on the wind.  
“...ok.” Al got the memo.

Kua may not be the bravest among her sisters, but she was no coward. No matter what the other quasi-spirit said, she was going to show them that she was worthy of Julius’ trust. Her strategy was to cover as much ground as possible and gather all the intel she could. The mansion might be scary, but her determination was scarier, nothing would stop her. She was so focused on her task, that she zoomed past Ferris and Al without stopping and continued to fly through the walls.

“AAAAAAAH!” Ferris pointed at something he saw moving in the corner of his eyes. 

In his terror, he pushed Al and ran away as fast as he could. He didn’t even look in front of him, he just ran as much as he could. Al only watched as Ferris bolted out of the room, it happened so fast he didn’t have the time to understand what made Ferris hysteric. Without anywhere to go, Al took the same door as Ferris even though it was too late to follow him. He still had to carry on, after all. 

Subaru thought that it couldn’t be worse and it was a deadly mistake. Even just thinking 'it' was enough to bring misfortune and calamity. And the corridor of mabeasts was the peak of misfortune. Walking past the fox mabeasts was one thing and walking past the dogs one was another, but a room full of those rabbits… This was absolute despair. He could not even cry anymore, his brain was not capable of anything but moving his legs. Trying to do anything more made his mind flashback to his fateful encounters with the sizable hare. 

Reinhard watched Subaru walking mechanically without a sound. He wasn’t even looking at anything, his gaze was empty of any intent. It was obvious that Subaru wasn’t in his right mind. He wasn't joking around, he wasn’t complaining, he wasn’t even reacting to his environment. If Reinhard ever doubted Subaru’s encounter with the sizable hare, there was no doubt left now. He had seen them and had suffered from their endless hunger. With how powerful Emilia’s and Beatrice’s healing magic were, the hare could have eaten all his skin off and he wouldn't have died. 

“Subaru?” Reinhard asked softly.

He didn’t react, he just kept walking straight ahead. It broke Reinhard’s heart. He missed Subaru’s incoherent shouting, those were signs of his vitality. The man before him was dissociating from his own mind. Reinhard wanted to reassure him, make his presence known. Subaru wasn’t alone in this hardship. And truth be told, if Subaru asked him to get out now, he would break the few walls between them and freedom in a heartbeat. Making him go through this endless corridor was torture. 

In absence of Subaru’s input, Reinhard decided to take matters into his own hands. He would pay for the destruction he caused, but he would not let Subaru suffer any longer. He took Subaru’s hand to guide him toward the exit he was going to create when he understood the gravity of his mistake. 

“!!!” a pathetic soft noise came out of Subaru’s throat. “Go away! Vade Retro Satana!” he threw something at Reinhard’s face before passing out. 

Reinhard had no idea what ‘Vade Retro Satana’ meant, but it was definitely salt that Subaru threw at him. He never thought that his ‘Divine Protection of Salt Reasoning’ would come into play one day, but he was wrong. At least he had his eyes closed when he received the salt in his face. 

He took Subaru’s unconscious body in his arms, making sure he would be comfortable in them. At least now he didn’t have to destroy any walls but this was really one of the biggest debacles of his life. Nobody died, yes, but everything that could go wrong went wrong. If Subaru had been conscious at this time, he would have muttered something about Murphy’s law. 

Ever since Al lost Ferris, he felt two times better. Not that he disliked his kitten friend, but he was a mood killer. A few more minutes with him and he would have ended up as insane as he was. And insanity was lurking near in this mansion. When Al saw a little white light in the middle of a room full of (hopefully) fake dead bodies, he was about to adopt 'the Ferris methods' of dealing with the unknown: running away screaming. But he managed to keep a hold of himself and just screamed a little bit. Al was proud of himself. 

In was floating in the middle of a room full of (hopefully) fake dead bodies when she almost adopted 'the Kua methods' of dealing with the unknown: flying away under Julius’ hair. But Julius was not here and she was no human and thus could not meet their fate. When she heard someone screaming not too far away from her, she considered again 'the Kua methods' but managed to only shake a little bit. In was proud of herself. 

Al walked slowly toward the small light. At first, he was afraid it was the lost soul of a vengeful witch cultist coming to kill him, but it was only one of Julius’ spirits. He didn't know the name of his ‘little buddies’ or whatever he called them, but he knew they were allies. Except if they were the lost vengeful spirits of a dead Julius, but Al didn’t even want to think about this possibility. The little light spirit flew toward him, seemingly happy to have found him. 

In thought she had lost herself but she found one of Julius’ friends! She would have been happy if it wasn’t the ugliest of them. Julius always told her it was infit from a lady to judge someone on their appearance, but this one hid his face behind a demon mask. One could only imagine what his real face looked like if a demon mask was a better alternative. Still, a friend was a friend so she had to help the poor Al.

“So, eh, little buddy. You know the way out?” 

In flew from right to left, she hoped Al would be the one knowing his way around. She could only lead him to Julius and she didn't know how to do it without passing through the walls. But reuniting with her master was better than nothing, with all the intel he must have gathered he was maybe already outside. 

Julius looked at Ik, Kua, and Nes dancing in the palm of his hands, they all came back without any useful information. He wasn’t mad, but he was a tiny bit disappointed. But in the end, it was his fault, he knew his little buds felt uneasy and he still sent them away. So he lightly kissed them and told them to not leave his side. He would find the exit eventually, it would just take more time than planned. 

Ferris was running for his life and he would never forfeit it to one of the witch devils. He knew something was following him but he didn’t know what and he was too scared to discover. So he ran and ran while the thing gave chase without tiring. Whatever was tracking him down must want him dead. 

Aro was so confused. After spending half an hour exploring this weird mansion, she finally found one of Julius’ friends but he was running away from her. Had she done anything wrong? She knew she could be a brute sometimes, but she didn’t do anything this time! Yet Ferris ran away from her as if she wanted to kill him. Maybe he didn’t know it was her? Aro couldn’t speak but she was an air spirit, and a good one at that, she knew a trick that could work. 

Ferris took a left turn, hoping to lose the thing in his trail, but it didn’t work. No matter where he went, the thing followed relentlessly. When he was about to look behind him to at least see what wanted him dead, he heard a ghastly voice from behind. 

“Feeeeeeelliiiiiiiiis” 

Moving the air around her to mimic a voice was one of Aro's secret weapons. 

“Feeeeellliiiiisssss. Issssss Aaaallooooo.” 

Aro had no way to produce the ‘r’ sound, but it was close enough. Julius was always so proud of her when she tried to mimic his voice. It sounded nothing like him, but he was proud nonetheless. What other mouthless spirits could speak? Only her, only Aro. 

“Feeeeeeellliiiissss.” 

The thing knew his name. His real name, not his fake one. The thing knew his real name! Ferris took the last shred of energy inside his body and ran faster than he never thought he could. Even Julius or Reinhard could run that fast, Ferris was sure he achieved some kind of speed trance. 

“Feeeeeellliiiisss. Issssss Aaaaalloooo” 

Why wasn’t he stopping? She called his name, she told him she was Aro. Why wasn’t he stopping? He wasn’t even taking turns anymore, he was just running straight ahead. If he wanted to get out of the mansion, running ahead would take him outside, but it wasn’t an exit. In fact, ahead was a hidden window overlooking the lake next to the mansion. Even if Ferris went straight through it, he would fall straight into the lake. Aro was sure Julius wouldn’t recommend it. She had to convince him to stop! 

“FEEEEEEELLLLIIIIIIIISSSS STOOOOOOOOOOP.” 

Oh no, he wasn’t going to stop. He was Speed itself and he wasn’t going to stop. In his rush, Ferris failed to notice a dark curtain hiding a window behind it. And he was already flying through it when he understood he wasn’t touching the ground anymore. Flying in the air among glass shards, Ferris fell right into the lake next to the mansion. 

When Ferris managed to figure out what happened to him, he was gently floating on the water of the lake. His water magic had already healed any cut the broken glass might have given him. Ferris closed his eyes and let the water carry his weight. It didn’t matter if he was half-naked in a lake, he was out of this mansion of horror. 

For the first time in what seemed like forever, Ferris was happy. 

The woman in charge of the mansion was patiently waiting for her guests' arrival. They must have been particularly slow because most guests were already out by then. She was about to send people to help them find their way out when one of them finally came out of the mansion. 

Julius was looking around him after stepping out of the mansion, but only the woman was here. He must have been the first to find his way out then. 

“Were you lost inside the witch’s mansion? Did you lose your friend?” she asked her guest.   
“Quite lost, indeed. Your little mansion is full of trickery.” Julius laughed. “But I wouldn’t call it scary. It was more of a labyrinth than anything else.”   
“You must be brave, then.”

She was about to congratulate her guest when she heard a scream and something hitting the water. Did something or someone fall into the lake? She went to the lake to see what happened only to find one of her guests floating in it. 

“How did he get there?” she asked the guest by her side.   
“That… I don’t know.” Julius watched as Ferris dabbled in the lake. He also saw his little air quasi-spirit flying above the water. “Aro! Can you tell me what happened?”   
“Aaaaaaaallooooooo!” Aro jumped with joy when she saw her master, but stopped when he asked to tell what happened. She had the intuition he wouldn't like the answers.   
“I see. I see.” Julius nobbed as he listened to his little bud story. “Miss, how much does one of your windows cost?”   
“Excuse me?” did she hear him correctly? 

With the light spirit by his side, Al felt fearless. Exploring the mansion became a child’s play and he knew he was just about to find the exit. And even when he heard noises coming from the room next to him, he was still in total control of his emotions. He wasn’t scared to look inside the room, not at all. That would be why he didn’t enter it, he didn’t need to, he already knew that whatever was in there was harmless. And that would be also why he went in the opposite direction because investigating the noises would be useless. 

He heard the floor crack behind him, but it must have been the wind. He then heard a door open and close behind him, but it must have been a stronger wind. He then heard somebody say his name, but it must have been a very strong wind. 

“Al, please.” 

A very, very, very strong wind. Al took a deep breath in and slowly turned to check on this incredible wind only to be greeted by pure horror. The body of an unconscious woman being covered in blood. After looking at her face, it was the body of an unconscious Subaru being covered in blood. After taking a step back, it was Reinhard emotionlessly holding the body of an unconscious Subaru being covered in blood. Al gulped as his brain calculated the only possible explanation: Reinhard went mad and killed Subaru. 

“Yeah, it makes sense, mate.” was all Al said before passing out. 

Reinhard watched as Al fell on the floor. Saying that the situation was getting out of hand was an understatement. Al is the second person he made faint in thirty minutes and he didn’t even touch anybody this time. Resigning himself to the situation, Reinhard put Subaru under an arm and took Al in the other. Hoping he wasn’t going to make anybody faint anymore, he continued his merry way through the mansion. 

After graciously paying for the damages with his gains at the cup game and entrusting the poor Ferris to the mansion’s lady, Julius went ahead to fetch the carriage. It wasn’t too far away from the mansion, but it would have been cruel to make Ferris walk half-naked in a wet shirt across the marketplace. Julius wanted to hope the others fared better, but he knew deep inside that very unlikely. He trusted in Subaru’s capacity to attract misfortune and in Al’s brand of weirdness. 

When he came back with the driver, In flew to him laughing in her own way. Looking through the window, he saw Ferris warped in Reinhard’s (bloody???) coat and Al sitting bare-chested next to him. The latter had smoke coming out from his mask, was he smoking? 

“What do you want, mate? I had a bad day, ha!” Al continued to puff on his cigar. “I should have known I was too old for this bullshit.” 

Julius was about to ask him about the logistics of smoking with a mask on but he reconsidered. He heard a knock on the door of the carriage, and Reinhard entered it without asking (how unlike him). 

“I fear we are going to owe the driver some hefty cleaning fees.” he put the heavily asleep Subaru on one of the bench seats. “Don’t worry, he is just sleeping. His visit had been… eventful.” 

Subaru was snoring loudly without a care in the world. He actually woke up from his fright a few minutes after fainting, but he had no interest in continuing his visit so he fell back asleep. He knew it was against his ‘man’s pride’, but he had to admit that it died a long time ago. And Reinhard’s arms were comfy, more comfortable than his own bed. Did he have a ‘arms of Morpheus’ blessing? Or was he just this good at ‘rescuing’ people? He should be ‘rescued’ more often then, for he was having the best sleep in his life. He even dreamt of burning those damn rabbits to death, it was glorious. 

“What is the red substance on him? Fake blood?” Julius wanted to know but was scared of the answer.  
“A mix of sugar syrup, red dye, and blueberry juice.” Reinhard answered immediately. “It does not taste as good as it seems.”   
“Ah. Thanks for the information.” Julius decided it was time to stop asking questions. 

Ferris and Al entered the carriage to let themself crash on the nearest bench. Ferris was too tired to execute his vengeance on Subaru for bringing him to this hell, but he would… eventually. Now was time for a good night of sleep, they would have to carry him in bed once they arrived, that would serve them right. Al was just going to enjoy the fact he was alive and well, it was enough for him. 

The driver could do nothing but watch as a cortege of half-naked wet people entered his carriage. He knew it was going to be a bad night for him, he should have run away while he could. But now, he was just going to make sure his esteemed customers would help him clean up or die trying.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aren't those boys a riot? I want to write more of their adventures, but as a band of unruly kids.


End file.
